Automatic Writings 1996 Part Four

Diane: I've been going back and forth on this creation issue for a while now. Me creating my own life, how that interrelates to other peoples life, and the issue of the universe creating something for me. The guides or Avatars are creating this or that for me. When am I giving away my power, and when do I need to turn my power over, so to speak. Who is creating what and how? In meditation this morning I realized that it's just a play of words on any given day. The truth is that the universe is totally within me I can't create without the universe. I am also totally within the universe and the universe can't create without me. It's just one of those wholeness things and I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out! The guides and everyone are part of the universe, as well we all have to create my reality together. I, however have to set the lead as to what I want to experience. I can't just sit and get into that victim space and wallow about how it isn't working. I have to know that it is the whole working together for my creation and see it as such and know that what I need in my life will come forth from that whole.

Atara: Dearest Diane, there is much in life that becomes blatantly obvious to you in the final days of purification. They have always remained the same it is how you view them that changes and gives them new meaning. You see this in others as well, those that study so to speak, the spiritual teachings. The words are simple, they can not convey the underlying truth until the Soul is truly ready to see it through interpretation by God. You see my dear this is the folly of this plane that you live on. Words are just that until the truth that lives behind them is received fully. Some people on the planet have much to say and they put no truth behind the words and they are empty and meaningless, and yet others hear them and place their own truth unto them and accept them as the truth of the one speaking. This is what is meant often by speaking your truth Diane, walking your truth, living your truth. Put your truth behind everything you think, say or do. Many will not understand today or tomorrow some will never understand, but you can not leave your energy unattended so to speak. Truth is the attendant of you energies you put forth into the world. Look at your current state of political rhetoric in the country, it is the perfect example of words that are empty and many people know this, yet they are at times still unable to discern the true person who desires to serve the whole of the country from those who are empty. They lump them all together and feel powerless within themselves and things change for the worse instead of the better. This empty word syndrome is the downfall of this civilization. Much of the constitution was based on words that those who signed it did not fully understand, therefore their signature lacked the truth necessary to carry the true intention forward. That all people are created equal and later in founding papers that slaves count as 3/5. How can these things be in the same documents and find a place, a core of truth to sustain a true civilization. For most the intentions were good, but they were not true enough to keep this country from it's own self destruction, not through another country, or civil war, or the silly notion of alien takeover, but through the very government that founded it all. Through the very constitution that created it, was created its demise. There was a lack of truth behind a creation, had the truth been there it would have filtered down in every generation until there was absolute peace among all peoples. Instead there is more unrest with each generation. It is sad really for all who saw that the intention was in good faith. They simply knew too little to accomplish the goal they set forth to accomplish.

Your truth is sacred to us my dear and we work diligently to find a way to assist you in expressing it in a truer fashion, so to speak. This realization today is good indeed an example for you and us all. We have spoken and talked at length on oneness and wholeness and the unity of the creation. Every step of the way you have understood to the best of your ability. You have questioned and been confused on so many issues at so many times that have led back to these same topics. Always remember as you walk out into this world, when you speak to others of this oneness and unity that they all will be at a different level of understanding. It will be obvious to you. There will be no need to judge this only to be strong in your statement of truth behind what you say, what we write now together. One day that statement will reach those who did not understand in fullness at the deepest level. They as you this day will feel, see and understand the power of the word spoken. This is what we would term a sacred responsibility to do this you are moving into a time of great teaching, yes example is key, but words are necessary. Use them truly and know the love they can convey.

The whole has worked diligently within you and all around you to bring you to this place my dear. Know that we all want to see you create in you full and true dominion as that includes us all. That is all

Diane: With this anger the other day that I was feeling at Beverlee I wonder, when you hit the bottom level on an issue, how long do you wallow there? Perhaps how long does it take to process it all out and let it go, would be more appropriate.

Archemedes: This is a good question, however there is no way to answer it because it depends upon what issue and how much is there and also who the person is who has reached the level. There is no correct way to purge yourself of tough issues. They come up at random so to speak, often triggered by what is occurring on a given day and the emotional reactions that you have to it. When Beverlee serves for you as a vehicle of emotions, you tend to try to stuff them and ignore them until you can no longer and the emotional outpouring then is immense and all at once. Attempt to take a few minutes every morning to quiet the self and to look at what is coming up for you on a given day and allow it pass up and show itself in pictures or words. This will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed by the releases that take place. In your case you have been bringing up the toughest issues first as that is your nature as a Soul. You have always desired to tackle what you think will be the hardest first and move it out of your way so to speak. Many others do the opposite wishing to take on themselves small issues to build a sense of confidence in small victories before they take upon themselves the tougher issues. You have had great success in your method, but few have the internal fortitude to do it in such a manor. There is little of this big stuff left within you now and the time is nearing for you to move on to more appropriate work for your Soul. I am well pleased with your understanding of the creation process and look forward to the teaching with Atara to begin in full. There is much to do and this will be a time filled with much activity. You will not tire and be exhausted as in the past as healing has and is occurring in these last days of your most painful issues. Know that I am ever at your side my friend and soon we will be working together in new ways. It is a glorious time see it as such!! There is time enough to smell the roses so to speak never give up joy on your journey. That is all.

Diane: Came across big fears in meditation tonight about moving on and about bringing a mate and reawakening my sexuality, and putting out my true energies into the world. Stuff about dealing with the public, feeling self-conscious. Fears about not being able to do the relationship thing, that even with everything that I've learned it won't be enough and I'll screw it all up, sabotage it. That I won't be able to relinquish control issues. Also fears of calling someone to me that will continue the control issues, that there will be a lot of conflict.

Group: Dearest Diane, this has been a time of great realization. Fear lives at the deepest places, where it attempts to protect what is perceived by mind as the fragile Soul. Soul is not fragile. There is nothing that Soul can not handle. Your sister, that was contacted last night, brought you to realize that you have changed, And that you need not that family connection in your life as mate moves closer you fear you will exchange your family drama for his. Know this he is ready to leave his family drama as well, or he would not be the proper mate! You fear the relationship with him as well as desiring more preparation within your self. My dear you have done all the preparation you can do. The two of you must talk through what is left within you both and make choices for your life together. It can not be done alone, you know this. He is well prepared for this but fears as well. You will find upon meeting that these fears will not accelerate, but lessen and leave you. You will be prepared to move ahead and you will know of this readiness, the teaching must come forth. You can not remain the student forever. Do you see? Yes, you feel there is that which is left to learn. It is minuscule my dear. Only does it need to reach down and take hold in action. It is there, Soul knows it already! You must awaken now true self. Let go of Diane. Stop being wishy washy wanting to remain. Charge ahead you are Tatiacha now, not Diane. No longer can you carry the mortal forward. It must be left in the mortal world. You are living in the world of divinity, where you live by a different code of law. True law, not limited mortal law. You see you have asked what it would take for the universe to get you out of here. Know that this is it. Now you have chosen truly, turned to the whole for this information and it is given. This is the law and as law must be acted upon by the whole. Let go. Know you are ready to be in true expression. Do not fear yourself! You are glorious! You are a divine and loving expression of God's true glory. Look unto this day as the day that true knowing has arrived at the deepest level. See it as the opportunity to right a wrong. The true sin of Soul that came down all your lifetimes ago. The refusal to acknowledge one's divine nature and God source within. You are now exalted in the glory of true being and this night we celebrate in gladness of fact.

There is much to be done. You ask for a kick in the butt to help you motivate, to move you to get on with things, and then qualify that it must be a positive kick, not a drama kick, but a positive force of God to awaken you to the greater world in a new way. Perhaps such as the advent of you clairaudience. The universe sees that indeed it is time for such an awakening. So be it my dear, so be it. Allow the joy to begin. That is all.

Atara: You are in a sensitive space. Be aware of the energies you are putting out at all times. Being so will allow you to let go with more ease. Stop, breath when necessary,

Diane: Reached a crossroads in meditation today. Choices were to go back, which is not an option really. To go straight ahead, to the left, or to the right. I asked what lay straight ahead. This was more of the same, tough lessons, frustration, and confusion. To the left was peace, ease standing forth, to the right was also peace, and a tranquil place but seemed secluded or something. So I asked where is the joy? The joy was clearly to the left, as well as abundance, and relating to other people, teaching, sharing in the whole. I chose the left and journeyed to the top of the mountain where I felt totally illuminated. I then realized that the choice has been coming for some time. When I enter my Inner Circle I was oriented to the North, and have remained oriented to the north ever sense. From this orientation, straight ahead was to the north, continuing with the current set of lessons and experiences. My Ant totem of patience and becoming part of the whole. Behind to the South was my Squirrel, gathering all that I needed for the journey as well as my fears of lack and preparing for the future. To the right, the East was my Bear, the cave the place from which I entered my Inner Circle to start with. There was peace there, but also aloneness and lack of expression. I can't remain in the cave. This left the left, which is the direction I chose to go. The Lizard, dreams manifest. The place of all my tomorrow’s, my completion, where I am no longer healing, because I am already healed. I changed the orientation of myself within my Sphere, to reflect this new direction. I realized, that even all the places I had lived, along this path they have all faced a direction other than west.

Last nights meditation dealt with a couple days worth of thinking about what I felt guilty about in my life and how it is reflected in my body and in the manifestation of all my expressions. I realized that I created this space from when I first walked in. That my mind or I should say Sentalitta's mind felt that it was my fault that she had gone and that Samantha had died. This began the battle of mind against Soul that has been the biggest challenge of the path. Everyone has their demons to deal with and childhood stuff. I realized that not only did I have all that of Sentalitta's, which I agreed to, but that I also had a mind that saw me as an invader. It also saw pregnancy and childbirth as a threat to itself and to losing it's Soul, so to speak. It attacked everything in my body and life that represented being a woman. Guilt over Samantha's death as being definitive proof that I was not worthy of any female role. The mind perceived Sentalitta leaving as punishment for Samantha's death, like she was sent home for being naughty or something. So a lot of the physical manifestations that I felt were to keep me safe from relationships and intimacy with men were also about keeping me from becoming pregnant.

At any rate what occurred in this meditation was that I came to find out that there was some of Sentalitta's consciousness still within me, small parts that were trapped in body tissues at the time that we traded places. Sentalitta came to me and we sent these parts back to her and it was an incredible feeling. Then I started to look around and see that there were bits of Samantha and there were pieces of the entities that had channeled and other entities that had attempted to affect me at different times and cleansed them all out. They weren't dangerous or anything they simply didn't belong there. Then I moved into consciousness that was at the DNA level dealing with the genetics of my parents and their families and saw there some consciousness that was not appropriate for me anymore and had that all leave. About midway through all this I started to fill all the vacated spaces with love knowing, and true Tatiacha energies.

I thanked Sentalitta today for all that she did for me in creating a body, and bringing it to adulthood, so that I didn't have to. I guess I never thanked her before. I was always too angry at all the crap she did that I had to deal with and purge and heal. She did this incredibly loving thing for me. I wouldn't recommend this walk in thing to anyone though. It is hard enough to know your stuff is your stuff. When you are constantly trying to say hey that wasn't even my experience and be neutral when your totally pissed at someone from the past, it feels like your the one being possessed or something. Here you are acting out on something and watching yourself do it. Knowing it is totally self destructive or whatever, yet you can't quite stop doing it. At times it's like beating your head against the wall. I watch Randy do it over and over, the same as I have. It's so hard to let go of this stuff, especially with Beverlee. This stuff between us, has nothing to do with us. We play the parts and I watch the play and say we've done this play enough, and she is terrified that I mean it and am going to stop playing. Then she escalates it until I get sucked in again.

I came to the crossroads and made the right choice. I can't heal her part of it and I know that me taking the other road is going to bring about anger in her. I can't do anything about that. I had to make the choice in my best and highest good, her reaction has to be her responsibility. Her life is her own now. I can only offer prayers of love for her to make choices that will offer her what she truly wants on a Soul level.

Group: Dearest one it is a grand and glorious day indeed! It has been a long time in coming now you move to completion of long hard issues and consciously choose the path that brings you the rest of the way home. It has been a time of tribulation, equal within you as the external changes of the Earth shall be unto her. The great purification of the Soul - Spirit. All has been in alignment with this for some time. You knew during this time that we all wished for you to be aggressive in you cutting away of that which does not serve you and this is what you accomplish in this time. There are many who are trying to achieve these triumphs within themselves and for every step you take on this path all who seek are uplifted and their journey made easier. Do you see? Do not always try to figure out all that comes there is a flow to the whole that sees what is best for you as easily as you can often see what is best for someone else you have been observing. Know that you are to a point that you wanted to be at. You wanted this change of direction, needed this change of direction to complete the work before you. This is a day of grand celebration my dear. You have had to get deeply into lessons on patience, but with every bit of patience you have offered yourself and this situation you have given yourself the gift of greater self love. This is never something to be taken lightly!! Love is a glorious thing and the Father is well pleased this day as you move once again into your true divine nature. Your dominion on Earth begins from the core of you. In order that it may be expressed you had to make choices every step of the way to remove everything that stands in it's way. This has been painful, but a worthwhile effort. You only begin to see just how worthwhile, truly. You are strong and ready for your true inheritance my dear and we are all well pleased. You are love dear child , never forget to spread this love around to all others you come across.

Diane: Awakening of the true Christ in meditation. I am not the receiver of miracles in the world I am the giver of miracles. I can give unto self from universe, including me as the giver of all needs met. The Christ being that which brings all that I need physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. I am full of the Christ now nothing else. Thank you Father for awakening me as your true daughter in my full Christness! Christ, all inclusive. Christ all knowing. Christ true expression of divine inheritance given by the Father ever more.

Christ: It is the Christ, all that is, not Christ Jesus, even though he, as all, is part of Christ. Rejoice in total wholeness within the bosom of true divinity. Totally purified. God has given unto you, as he has given unto all. Only that they would see and receive, as you have this night. Never will you see, think, feel, be the same again, for now you see with the eyes of Christ, think with the mind of Christ, feel with the heart of Christ, be in the divine love of Christ. It is so, now and ever more, can not be taken or given away. ‘Tis you now in fullness. There is no other no longer, only Christ self, only Tatiacha, no longer does mortal Diane exist. Cease now this illusion forever. ‘Tis gone, gone, gone. Love is the thing within you now, Christ love will take over every thought, word, act, and deed. You now live this. Teach it to those who would wish to know. Write it, speak it, live it! ‘Tis your right earned though seeking, then acting on what was sought. Know this is the completion of the true circle of your planned path. Now true Christ has own path within you. You are expression of whole in perfection. This is a glorious gift and home coming you allow self. That is all.

***Tatiacha: Finally changed my name. Not sure why I have been so slow about this. It is definitely time! My attitude has improved greatly since the Christ awakening the other night. I feel more positive. Beverlee and I are getting along better. Randy is in a big healing crisis. A lot of negative stuff is coming up for him. They told me that Laura had a vision of me, it sounded like Spirit showed her aspects of my Sphere, or the True Chi center or something. I was wondering if there is a specific reason she needed that vision.

Atara: Dear friend the mind is always in search of the details of all things. It is good to know that you can always rely on the mind to ponder what is usually irrelevant! This case is no different than most others. You will retreat to a place where you feel good. There is no hurry worry. It is different for every person who goes through it. You for example will be looking for a place where your dogs will be at ease as well as yourself, for if they are not at ease, you will not be at ease, you see.

Randy has been hit with a vibrational adjustment that has caused him to bring forth a large chunk of inner anger and darkness. He will simply move through it. We all would wish for him to let go of the whole chunk of it, but alas you two have in common the programming of attempting to hang on. This you saw last night in what you perceived as him building up his level of drama over his feelings. This was simply an attempt to shove back down, what had come up, with old patterns of justification. It is all part of the return to Eden my dear and he will move through it as you have.

You ask about this vision that was given unto Laura. Its purposes are many fold. One was to assist Laura in her understanding of the complexities of the energy systems of the awakened God man. Another was to give her an understanding of your place upon the path. The reason for this is that, as you have felt, there is future work to do with she Kathy and Nashan. Giving her this view offered her subconscious a timetable, so to speak, in relation to the future work together. An important purpose to this also is that Spirit wished for her to convey this vision to Beverlee. For her it was an acknowledgment of work you have done within, that she has trouble seeing. It was a confirmation that allows her to see the importance of the work. It also was a confirmation for Kathy on things she has felt of which she has spoken only to Laura..

There are but two things now that you should be thinking about. Love and the transformation of self in expression from imperfect to perfect. The place for retreat has no bearing on me and our work together in this transformation. Any place that you choose the Christ will find for you all that you need to be comfortable. I will come to the place you choose and we will embark on a joyous adventure together. It will be a short time in truth, but a time we will both treasure, as we are good friends and have waited long for this time to share together. When we have finished our time together you will come back in true expression ready to move forward into fully active dominion and teaching. It is a grand time we have all looked forward to and Bestali wishes to speak.

Bestali: I am here now and I feel at times like a proud parent that I will burst with joy at your achievement. All of our Soul Mates stand behind you in these final days of your mortality and we await a glorious reunion on Earth of you with the others that will follow suit. Every day will become a grand party of God and what a joyous time it will be for the Earth. I will not keep you any longer. I only wanted to tell you that you are loved! Bestali loves you Best!

Sentelitti: Dearest apprentice, it is with great joy that I write with you this day. It has been a long journey this far yes? Now you are ever enveloped in the true Christ. Your life is never to be the same and you will miss nothing of the old life. I knew that you could accomplish this goal my dear friend and so it is apparent that it has been accomplished. Aah yes the mind thinks it has yet to do certain things how can I say that you have already accomplished. It is simple, because you have. All that is left to bring forth in expression is governed by law. God's law when enacted fully does not stop until it is complete. There is nothing any person including self or any other aspect of creation could do to stop the remainder of your change. Therefore it is done, it is done! There is no turning back, nor is there anything that could distract or delay. You are home my friend and now that you are home you are nourished and taken care of. The response of joy in this homecoming is natural. Joy lives inside you as a seed. It has been given great care, proper moisture and light and the soil is in absolute balance and perfection. The seed has all it need, it must fulfill its mission of creation. Its growth is a joyous thing to watch and experience and when the gentle flowers bloom into the full expression of creation you will see that the seed was there always. All that was necessary to do was to give it the proper environment to flourish. Nothing stops the mighty seed of the Creator. All the seeds of God you planted deep within you are flourishing. They have long sense broken ground so to speak and grow beautiful and healthy. The buds have formed and now the flowers must come forth. It is done. That the buds have all they need to come forth has already been determined. Know that they come forth, in the garden within you, the place that is Eden.

This you understand this concept of what you know to be Eden. Trees abundant and perfect and ever bearing. Fresh clean water flowing, animals all in harmony with the whole. No limitations of what is perceived as the Earth's ecosystems. Tropical and desert plants alike side by side offering their true and perfect self forward. Once this was upon this Earth in physical form. It shall be again in the future. Eden must be found within you and within every person. For in truth it is not about a physical place. It is a perfect state of being. A state of being that is inside of you pressing outward, as you have removed everything that has stood in it's way. The seed are also planted deep within the consciousness of the Earth Mother and she works diligently to remove everything that stands in her way. So too must all others on the planet. Then the true beauty of the Creator will be the living expression of all that is on the Earth. This is what we all dream about. We in Spirit can see it as done. Man on Earth has come to foolishly think it is something that he creates with his hands instead of his Spirit and Soul. Little children dream of the place they know Eden and then awaken, and act out on their disappointment in man's ignorance. Spread the truth of Eden Tatiacha. Show the truth of Eden. Reach out to the children and let them know that you know their dream, that you intend to share it with all the other adults that can make it truth for the future generations. Accept no excuses or justifications. Those days are gone my friend, those days are gone. Know our love and share our love with all that are in the world. We will be assisting Atara in his completing of your teachings. Truly this is not a good term. In fact do you teach a flower how to bloom? No, you simply watch it unfold and revel in it's perfection and beauty. This is what we shall all be doing. Love to you child of God from all of us in Spirit, and welcome to the truth for which you have long sought and worked hard to find.

Tatiacha: Please speak to me about the options that came about last night. I need to know why it's taking so long to pull this together.

Christ: Dear child of God, indeed you have put forth your intent and it has been heard by all of the whole. There are times when you must seek out the alternatives to be sure that what your choice still feels right. This brings you to a place where you will not wonder should I have done this or that instead, you see. Randy does not like this very much as he sees it as changing your mind all the time instead of exploring alternatives. Sometimes changes do occur and it is with the knowing that this change is a good and right choice. In this case you find that the original plan is the one most suited to you and your work. Intent is a very powerful thing my dear and it is with great joy that the whole of the Christ hears your intent and revel in it's implications. At one time you came along your path because you felt there was no real alternatives. Now you see that there are many and this path is your desire, not your burden. This is a great and glorious change of venue. You take joy and ownership of your path in it's chosen expression. You have been upon your own timetable all along dear one. The reasons behind your desire are varied and this is natural. These reasons are for you alone, they belong to no one else! We the Christ know of them all and know that they are in alignment with the desire of the whole, enough said. Now that you have embraced this path of yours there is a change in the timing. Know it is done and give thanks in advance for the coming changes that you have been creating. Allow all the creative force in you to move into greater expression. Allow yourself freedom and joy in your chosen activities. You love the work you do for the whole and this is a good good thing, however, never forget to balance this work with activities that are purely for the experience of childlike joy. Art and music and nature, simply for the joy of being in the physical. Call forth your mate when you are ready and experience these things together. Give freely of the expression of your sexuality with this mate. All these things will bring great joy to the physical to balance the joy you receive from the spiritual work. It is important not to get overly bogged down with the seriousness of the Spirit work. As assisting to change the world's future with your Soul Mates is a daunting task that many have allowed to rob them of their joy. Others in the world give into the pleasures of the physical without the joyous union with the Spirit and they feel an emptiness that keeps them from finding the joys of God or fully experiencing the joys of the physical. They think they must choose one or the other and that the joys of the Spirit must be solemn in their sacredness. This is illusion for God in fullness is the absolute embodiment of joy. When joy is experienced any amount of joy, God is experienced. All works of creativity from inventing a new computer component, to a painted masterpiece, a great piece of music, or a celebration of a child's birthday with toys and games, they all come from God, there is no other for them to come from. The Father is very generous in his offerings of love and creativity. Those who feel themselves to be uncreative simply do no recognize the way in which the Fathers creative force works through them. Do not be confused by the messages of societies past or present. Many who would put themselves up as the moral and the righteous are simply those who fear God's force within them and seek to control it within others. They must learn to embrace the Father within and respect the fact that the same force is in all living things. This force is the Christ and it will not be thwarted by those who seek fear in the name of Jesus and use the name of the Christ in ignorance. None can be separated from Christ. Christ is not a savior, for none need to be saved! All that is necessary is deep within as you have found, so too can all people find the same, Christ within and waiting. Indeed in this way the Christ must be the way to God! Our dear one Jesus was and is a great and loving teacher who gave much to assist the whole. The Christ he is and so too are you the Christ and so to are all the Christ. Jesus came and taught about rebirth, the death of sin. Sin is only that which you carry around and punish yourself for through the carrying of guilt...Karma. ‘Tis not possible for Jesus to have died and rid all of their karma. He died and showed that you are the master of this choice you can punish self or you can accept the forgiveness of self which is the forgiveness of the Christ and be reborn. Not reborn in theory but reborn in fact, with a new body, perfect and divine, unlimited by the giant boulders that stand in the way of the mortal. Know your Christ dear Tatiacha and live your Christ expression. Don't be confused by the messages in the world of what they believe a Christ should act like. Only those who are experiencing the rebirth knows what a Christ feels like or behaves like. Share these thoughts and feelings with those who desire to know. That every person will come from a different place to this knowing. That they will still be individuals with different perspectives. There can be many perspectives on a given subject without any of them being out of harmony with the whole. The Christ is filled with diversity. God is not a homogenized being. God is the very diversity of life. It is the Creators desire to experience diversity, it is the very purpose for physical existence. Never push aside your diversity, embrace it as the beautiful and glorious thing that it is! Know you the love of all of the Christ dear one, you are ever part of the whole. Never were you separate, only did you feel that way. Know that your intent has been acknowledged and acted upon by the whole my dear. Be ready for flight, so to speak.

Tatiacha: Today I want to be conscious in my giving thanks for all that I have been helped with in my life and be thankful in advance for all that I need that has yet to arrive. I have been ungrateful for a lot of things in my life, such as Beverlee providing a place to live. Yes, it has come with a lot of painful strings and issues of control and dependency, however, she didn't have to do it, nor do I have to act as if I have a God given right to be supported by her. Yes, she is also getting something out of it, but using that as an excuse for being ungrateful isn't right. She makes me crazy and that is a separate issue. How can I expect the universe to find a way to provide for me away from here when I am ungrateful for what I have already received? I don't know truly what her complete motives are for doing it only God knows that. The truth is her motives are immaterial. Thank you mom for helping me. Giving me the time I needed to do the inner work I have accomplished. For the knowing that somehow something good would come out of it. For being willing to do it, what ever your reasons may have been or are now. Thank you God for the next place that comes and all that I need to continue the path. I know you will be generous and abundant as this is your true nature. I receive with gratitude all that you pour out to me and I in turn pour this energy out to others every moment of every day.

Today I asked for help to heal all the negative thoughts that are formed inside me. I am extremely aware of how much damage they do and most of it is to me! I want to be healed of this I don't want to ever have a negative thought again as long as I live! Please help me! I am tired of the damage and trying to clean it up inside me and in the world and especially in this family.

Christ: All is well child all is well your thoughts are received and acted upon. Whenever you ask for assistance, assistance is given. Never will you be left to fend off these things by yourself. You are ever part of the whole and greatly loved by the whole. All things are in the true circle cycle of nature it is important to have gratitude and this has been a long time in coming. There are many times when you have been grateful but for the wrong things there is never too much grace in the world and giving thanks is an act of grace as is forgiveness. Forgive yourself for all those things that you have overlooked consciously, know that the Soul never overlooks anything and that the Spirit of man is a glorious thing that does not forget anything any feeling or experience in any life. There is little that does not become an offering for growth dear one and this day you have seen and felt the pain of your oversights. Many people have offered you much in this life and it is time to acknowledge this place inside you where all their offerings are recorded, weather they were accepted or not. Some had their own agendas that were not always positive, however that does not discount the offering, or mean that their agendas were consciously put into action in malice. Life's greatest joys come through others beings of God, People, animals the Earth Mother. Don't discount this great love of humanity. Most people live in an unconscious way they are not aware of their own agendas. This makes it difficult when you come to a place where you can clearly see the underlying agenda at work. Do not discount the deed. Simply see what is at work and whether the offering can be received without participation in a negative agenda. Some agendas are simple and you can choose to give the other person what they want without harming anyone else. Do you see? Allow people to flood into your life, they will bring you great joy. If they are in sorrow you know how to be in controlled folly and to be neutral. You do not have to participate in the folly or drama of others. There is a great new time awakening before you let it be!! Think not about what you can do for the whole think what you can do for an individual for it is the individuals touched that will change and affect the whole. If you touch the life of only one person who goes on it will grow exponentially you see my friend this is the way of things. One person at a time healing themselves, grows to heal the planet. The first person you have touched and changed my dear is you! You have already touched and changed more than that at this time. In that manner your work of a sort is already complete. You have already uplifted the whole simply in your coming here and taking the path! This is why even the monk who is sequestered is helping the whole by choosing to help himself and to not participate in the negativity of the planet. By spreading good energy out to the world he then creates an environment that helps others. Not that any would have you live like a monk! But you see what we are trying to show you. In many respects you have lived like a monk these past few years. You will still need your retreat my friend and you will still have time to yourself, but this is a chosen time to reach out. Reach out for individuals, see each person who seeks, not groups or communities. Know the heart of each person you desire to touch with your truth and let them see you in totality. The work is Christ to Christ, just as you have known all the unique entities who have assisted your journey. Only when you had fully come to know them did they ever offer you group energy to work with. They taught you Christ to Christ. This you must offer to others. The respect of offering your full self forward not saving anything for someone else or yourself. You can not give yourself away my dear. Only share a true moment of your present to another in fullness. Do not hesitate, be fully in the moment. You can not lose yourself! Dream of the world in these terms. See a world where every person can be fully with the moment they are in sharing with the person with whom they speak, not with discomfort or superficiality, but truly in God's way. The day is coming. Call upon the Christ within you when you feel the negativity coming upon you. Do not stop in your path. Always move toward the goal in at least one form. Do not stagnate your personal energy. Your energy is far too precious to keep it from it natural flow in the work toward your goal.

Atara: There is little left to say this day, however, I wanted you to feel my presence with you more fully. I am here with you completely in this moment dear friend! We have spent too many days to mention going round and round on many of the same issues of how to remove yourself from a place or situation and you have learned it from every angle. Indeed! We are of like mind at times when you allow it to be so. Know that all you need is already yours my dear. This has been a time of great frustration. You find that all you do to try to change the situation only makes it remain. You must simply focus yourself on what you wish to accomplish truly!! What you desire to accomplish has nothing to do with this situation. You wish to stand forth, to complete the book, to marry, have your children. None of these things has anything to do with this situation. Focus only on these things and the rest will follow. Your God self will then put you in the appropriate place to accomplish these things. Know this and be positive about this. Ask for help in moments when you feel the old thought forms begin to descend upon you. We will assist you always. Don't think in terms of when or how think in terms of, I am and I have accomplished and in terms of I have already received and I give thanks each day for all that unfolds! Trust my dear is something that you must place in yourself knowing however comes direct from the Father. Don't settle for trust in self. Open your heart to God's pure knowing and then focus on the goal as already received. Allow God to do the rest! That is all.

Tatiacha: A little confused today, nothing major, more dad stuff. What is this about at this late date, so to speak?

Atara: I am here my friend, all is well. It has been a difficult two weeks, in that, time alone has been nonexistent, time for meditation. However, you have been working on the book and this gives you joy even in it’s more tedious aspects, for you know it leads you to completion of a great work in your life, and this feels good. Indeed Randy struggles with the work now, he fears changes that you make and feels overwhelmed by the immensity of the project, as you once did. All is well, his fear will fade as he faces issues. His negativity has been strong during this time as big issues come to the surface for him. This is part of his process and he simply must deal with it the best he can. No one can say or do anything to alter what comes up. At times he feels lost in the wilderness of himself. Puchahawa is much stronger than Randy cares to know about at this time. You know this, let it be. The reactions to changes you desire to make, either ignore, or simply redirect and say that you feel his own issues are what he is reacting to and it has nothing to do with the work. Do not try to take responsibility for trying to keep peace, so to speak. It is not your job to censor your normal daily activities or decisions because he might get angry. Do you see? He is angry right now no matter what you do. If he directs it at you, based on your activity, it is still his anger, his issue. Refuse to walk on eggshells, and refuse to allow him to be verbally abusive toward you. He does not need to be treated with kid gloves, so to speak. He is strong and can and will cope with his issues. Don’t make excuses for him. Simply refuse to participate. He will wallow until he is through and can wallow no more, as you have in the past.

You begin to get a very clear picture of how your own negative thoughts affect you physically and emotionally, and find the new heightened sensitivity to be uncomfortable. This is good. This aspect is leaving you and healing you of this addiction to negative thought patterns and drama. I am well pleased that you allow the Father to heal this in you, as you have asked him to do. You ask him also to bring you home the rest of the way. To come and get you, so to speak and indeed this process begins in absolute fullness. You see clearly your own issues of power, control and communication and how they have been offered to you in ways that allowed you to see them from all sides. Understanding your own weakness to power, ego issues and your learning of humility of same is a grand and glorious step on your sacred path. You can look back to the woman who started this path and see her with all her faults, and had she received all that she had attempted to manifest etc. She would now be an uncontrollable control freak with total selfish motivations. The lessons have been extremely hard and painful, I know, but you gave over the control to the Creator God within you and as such you have become a loving, gentle woman of great wisdom and desire to assist the whole. It is a road traveled that has come to satisfactory conclusion, so to speak. You are ready to share the power with those Soul Mates who have come seeking community, and community will ensue. You can and will trust and allow their love and support to envelop you and great deeds will be accomplished by this glorious group. The thankful attitude of what has been given and humility to accept what the Creator offers you henceforth will take you far my friend. This is victory over great and mighty inner darkness, yet again. Love can heal all things. There is nothing greater than the power of true God Love my dear, never forget this.

I am ever at your side as is Bestali and Aleasa. Our support you have always, even in the setting up of your lessons again and again! Now you can find the humor in this. That gives us all great joy! Know that the Father has foreseen your every need child and now with completion of 7 ½ years of humility training, we move on to more interesting life experiences. I say we because as you, we are tired of watching you go through the same lessons over and over, at deeper levels. It has all become very uninteresting. We are well prepared to watch the arrival of new joyous experiences in your life. We are true believers in the happy ending scenario. God is leading you there, and if you tire God will carry you, know this always.

When you are weary say out to the whole, I am weary, Father carry me while I regain my clarity. Bring me into your arms and show me your Love!

It is there in every moment! It is the very you of you. Do you see? God is creating for you everything that you need to come home into perfect harmony. You are at this place through hard work and difficult realizations of the dark places you found within. Do not discredit your self for this hard work. Not many have the courage and fortitude to face these inner places.

Now you all begin to find one another and it is a gift, know it as such, and allow the gift to bring overwhelming joy into your heart ever more. Everything becomes clear as illumination overtakes the limited mental perspectives. You will have the whole picture soon. Enough... Do now what you can do with what you have, where you are. We are here to assist on the book as needed as always.

Tatiacha: Here we go working up to the winter Solstice again with what seems to be the same stuff. I feel like a ping pong ball! I feel lost from my deeper connection, well not lost, just one off since arriving in lakeside where I have no private space.

Beverlee brought some flu home from the hospital and after many years of not even a cold, I went down hard, I realize now part of what I have been learning this week. One thing is that this family isn’t very different than my marriage to Craig. I was sick and I went through it all alone, in the middle of a house full of people. Craig used to leave me alone if I was sick, said I was in a healing crisis and needed to work through it on my own. That’s how he handled being sick, he didn’t want anyone near him. In bringing up a few things, Beverlee said she likes to be left alone when she is sick, and I realized they were the same in that respect. How could they give to me what they are unable or unwilling to accept for themselves. It has always been that way in this family. This flu took me back thorough all my childhood illnesses, even losing Samantha, no one touches, nurtures, caresses... loves in my way of looking at it. When I married Craig I guess subconsciously I thought he would give me what my family didn’t. It never occurred to me that he was the same as my family. That’s why it hurt so much when he didn’t and I felt really betrayed. He was my husband, life mate, I thought if he isn’t going to do it who will? I came to the point in my marriage where I thought if I have to go through everything hard alone, I can do that alone! Why be married? It would be far less complicated and painful without the marriage.

I guess in some ways I’ve held onto that in my energies. Lack of knowing that I can bring a man into my life who can go through whatever comes together, who can nurture me and allow me to nurture him. So here I sit with the family. If I am going through everything alone, what is the point in being in the middle of the family? I could support myself emotionally much better alone than what happens here. Is this not the same as the marriage? Isn’t it about really knowing I can and will call into my life true family, beyond blood, that interacts lovingly by choice without obligation? Not that I want to dump my family, I know that is not the answer, but the longer this situation occurs the harder it gets. Randy is going deeper into depression as his issues come up and when I am doing work on one of the books he is around, depressed sending out negative vibes, sometimes toward the book itself and the choices I’ve made in relation to it. I find that unacceptable. I can’t have negative energy directed at the book. It is so hard for Randy to move through these changes, I know and he want nurturing and to be able to give it as well, but he walls go up in the family and we don’t move beyond them. It is such an illusion we live, doing healing work, and never giving to each other. We would heal a hundred strangers, before we would work on each other, and it isn’t conscious, it just doesn’t even cross our minds to work on each other.

I feel Randy weighing on me, nagging me energetically, like hey slow down and let me catch up. I can’t slow down or wait. I have to forge ahead on my path. If or when he catches up I will celebrate and feel joyous about it, but I can’t wait. This is my path, I can’t take it for both of us. Please help me to understand all of this.

Christ: All is well child of God. Know ye the love of the Father for the Father serves you well as you serve him in completeness. There will never be a time when the Father will abandon you. When you fell ill with the flu and you were not cared for by those on Earth the Creator was ever vigilant at your side. You called out to the all and asked the Father to carry you through, as you felt unable to walk, and thus the Father did carry you through with his great and enduring love. You asked and you received and you were not then, nor will you ever be alone. When you speak of doing things alone you speak of not having support or help in the physical, this is understood, but know that everything you do alone, you do with all of creation. The support of your Spirit allies never fades or goes away, never! Have you turned to Spirit or the Father and found them not there for you? ‘Tis not possible for you to be alone, or abandoned by those who love you. Even those in the mortal, whose imperfect expression abandons you, are there at the higher level of the all, offering assistance through the all. Do you see? This path has been very painful for you dearest Tatiacha. Know that there is not a wrong or right at work here. It has been painful for you all, as you struggle to feel loved and part of something more than self. That is what family is. You are already part of something more, the great family of life, where your nurturance is of the utmost importance. Where no mortal exists to intrude upon it with imperfect expressions of their own fear and lessons. You will never be forgotten or left outside the whole my dear. Never alone, only loved. That is all.

Atara: I am here my friend. These last few days have been difficult and you have felt me at your side, assisting you to move beyond the pain and issues. It has been productive and although the method, this flu, was not to your liking, you realize it’s effectiveness. You are self reliant my friend, thus you have always been able to move on. Thoughts of anything other are illusionary and we have discussed this in the past. Now it reaches the place of knowing. All that you need to complete this work will be given to you, not the family. You are not the caretaker or responsible for where or how they will proceed upon their paths. There is a place within that wants to see this as callus. Are they responsible for how, why and where you proceed on your path? Do you meditate on their encouragement? Work on the books on their encouragement? No, of course not, you do so out of self! At times you have had to fight them and whatever energies they have been in, to forge ahead and do this path! You have done whatever you needed to do to reach deeper levels of self, to purge your inner darkness, to seek your true divinity. More often than not they have been resentful of your advances and desired to be pulled along simultaneously, and / or wanted you to wait for them to get there before you take the next step. None of this is their right dear friend. You have worked too hard not to revel in the joy of every step you take from here. Never sacrifice your joy for another person. This is not what God wants for any man or woman. You know this is not about being selfish or callus or inconsiderate or unthoughtful. Those are mortal things. This is a joy far beyond these mortal concepts of limitations. The first step in that journey was the understanding that you had to let go of Craig, that you had indeed sacrificed your choice of joy by being in that unhealthy relationship. Now the family wishes you to sacrifice this as well. You told the Father during your sickness that you would sacrifice what he wanted you to sacrifice to receive healing and go about the work. He knows that there are sacrifices to make in the current relationships within this family. The Father does not wish you to cut contact or leave in anger, only to give yourself space to be you, Tatiacha, not Diane. Set boundaries of where they end and you begin. It is time now my friend. You have prayed about this for a long time and now the time is at hand. What you need to make this happen is in your hands, so to speak. Use it, jump forth and don’t look back. It is as God has planned it my friend. You are much loved.

Tatiacha: Got into it with Randy today. I realize that I am still trying to bring him with. Why can’t I get this? He is determined for me to do it. Like it’s my job to create for him. His comment was, "If you’ve done so much inner work than why are we in this situation? Where is the outer manifestation?" It’s as if in his mind if I am not creating a better outer manifestation for him than my inner work is worthless or non-existent! You all warned me about this over and over. You told me the family couldn’t see the inner work accomplished.

Atara: I am here my friend. ‘Tis a good day indeed to come to these realizations my dear girl. You have struggled hard with this desire to exonerate yourself from perceived past deeds and guilt by doing what mind perceives as good deeds, making everyone happy. You see this is the basis of this desire to please that is prevalent in this society. It is the desire to be seen as good, to have the true self recognized by others on the planet. It is a trap all will fall into on some level. Randy desires to do same as well, and he has only begun the path. Do not worry, all is well. It has been a time of tribulation within you, in the changes that occur. Know that all is well. The energy of community has been put forth and will continue to be put forth and Soul Mates will come to be in a space for community in their own time. This is not now, nor has it ever been in your hands. All you can do is show a possible path, just as that is all we have done for you my dear. You made the choices and did the work and all that comes to you now in rewards is yours. You have earned it through knowing God within and following through on that which God has wanted for you. You are a stubborn person and in this case you have used that stubborn nature to turn to the Creator and not let go. These truths you have gained will bring you all you have desired now. God has other works for you to do. You will leave a light burning. Do you see? The torch that will say this pathway is here if you want it. ‘Tis not your place to provide for Randy’s sustenance with your rewards. He must choose the path. At current he takes it because it is there and he thinks there are not other choices. He follows not because he sees the path as a good and right one, for in truth he sees from his perspective that is has gotten you nothing! What a shame he knows not of what you have given self. He has to make a choice and go to work. Beverlee has worldly work to do in raising Eric and will make the choice when it is presented to her by Spirit to make it. She could choose not to attempt to stand forth. This is not a wrong choice, it is ok to choose not to do the work on that path, but to choose a path that is compatible. Not all the founding generations of community will choose to take the path. That has always been known. It is the children who will truly lead the way into the new world, and the new way. Do not worry about whether they will or won’t, matters not. It only matters to you and we that you have chosen and committed, and now this path must commence. The knowing we have waited for you to come unto has and now we move onto the next step on the sacred path. Keep your mind and heart open my dear. All will be well.

Christ: Dearest child of God you are loved, loved, loved. It shall be a glorious path you shall be embarking upon in this next stage. You are greatly supported and loved more than mind could comprehend. This period of stagnation has been difficult on you physically and the leaving of this whole issue behind will give you a tremendous healing. Do not grieve my dear. That time is past. You have given more than any had a right to expect you to give. They are very wise Souls, who must choose their own way. It has no reflection on you or the gifts you have offered them know this! This is hard for mortal mind to see, but this is truth. God is ready to continue your true training, so to speak, and it is your path alone my dearest one. You are ready now. All is foreseen and glorious, know this. Choose not to give in to emotions of hurt by ignorant actions or comments of others. It is time my dear, as you stated in the vision, it is time for them to look within and decide if they will participate and time for you to move on to the true work at hand. All things are in perfect and divine order.

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