What Does Love Look Like

What Does Love Look Like - Forming a Healed Relationship

By Engtovo

The question is what does love look like? This is really a question for every individual seeking a healed relationship

True love is two people who have seen each other in their perfection!
It is obvious to anyone and everyone who looks at the two people together.
No one would question if they were partners.
When they look into each other’s eyes they cannot help but smile.
When they are near each other they cannot help but touch.
When they are apart in a group they will steal glances and smiles across the room.
It is free of agendas, pure and childlike.
It happens naturally and there is no need to set up scenarios or control anything. This sight of the Divine Spirit causes the unfoldment.
It may happen upon meeting for one or both or it could take weeks or months to develop.
There is friendship that is the best friend relationship for both people. A couple who considers other people to be their best friends will falter in difficulty.
Old friends for years can go through shifts within themselves that allow them to see each other truly for the first time.
No other person is affected by attack for love to come forth.
There are no feelings of competition or barriers to remove as barriers simply are not seen in this state of true love.
Both people glow from this love.
Both people are uplifted and inspired.
Both people improve in their health and vitality.
True love has honesty and trust in communication and expression.
Creativity expounds and flows freely within the care of the love.
Laughter is essential, two people who are not laughing together even in difficult times are not in this state of Divine Love.
True love breaks the bonds of oppression, it is freedom in truth, it offers a reflection of something greater.

A healed relationship is a four-fold expression. These four aspects may take time to fully develop but are all essential.

Physical Connection

Trust in the physical world, safety within the physical expression, freedom from abusive behaviors, trust within the sexual expression, no fear of the other’s touch and physical interaction.
Movement in the world, how flexible is physical location to both people. Are they compatible on this level?
Healthy sexual attraction and expression that acknowledges the Divine. Both partners operating within their personal comfort range with out feeling pressured to do something outside their comfort range. Similar sexual drive and desire for the frequency of sexual activity
Appropriate use of the creation energy that is formed through sexual connection. Procreation in its true form is the ultimate form of manifestation in the physical world. It is the creation of physical life itself. When two people join in sexual union who are not intending to create a new life in the world, this energy must be given intention. To not do so wastes God’s most precious gift to mankind, and the individual creation energy of the individuals involved. Both people must be in agreement of the use for this energy, there can be no covert agendas by one partner. As long as both people are in agreement and the intention is something that will not harm another part of the whole it may be applied to whatever the couple wishes to apply it to.
Two people who are compatible in the amount and type of non-sexual touching they desire in their life. If one person wants a lot of non sexual touching and the other does not, the one who needs the touching as part of feeling nurtured will always feel unsatisfied. You cannot train someone to give you what you want. It must be their natural affinity.

Mental Connection

Trust in sharing thoughts and ideas.
The ability to communicate feelings effectively to one another.
Honesty about self and your past expressions and future desires.
Understanding of the partner and the ability to hear them and see their view points even if yours differ.
Telepathic communication is natural to a healed relationship, finishing each other’s sentences and so forth is a normal expression of this mental connection.
Anticipating the needs of your partner as your bond grows closer, but this is not based upon one partners expectation of the other it is simply a natural flow of being within each other’s thought flow and energetic patterns.

Emotional Connection

Trust in opening heart to the other person. Respect!!

Deep feelings of love. (based on the view of what love looks like shared above)
Wanting the best for the other person.
Compassion for the other person and the people this person loves other than you.
Ability to share fears, especially the ones about the relationship.
Nurturing your partner because you want to, not out of obligation or guilt.
Both people allow creativity and inspiration to flow freely.
The relationship is free of competition or comparison of the partners.
Family connections and how the couple interacts with the two families involved has to be emotionally ok for both people.
Shared views on majors issues that effect emotion such as the raising of children – moral issues

Spiritual Connection

Trust at the deepest spiritual level that you are able to be who you truly are within the relationship.
Deep and meaningful sharing between the partners, equal level of importance of the relationship in their lives.
Healed relationships normally form out of a long series of past lives as mates.
The two people do not necessarily have to share spiritual practice if the level of spiritual importance in their lives is equal and they can find compatibility in their philosophical perspectives on life. However, if both people are pursuing a spiritual path as the primary aspect of their lives, there must be a shared philosophy or two philosophies that harmonize perfectly.

Is that a lot? YES, it is a lot, and it isn’t going to be maneuvered into place! The Divine Christ within orchestrates it. If you look at old relationships honestly, it is glaringly obvious which of these four areas was missing all together or seriously lacking. By doing this it helps also to assess new relationships as they are forming. It is really important to talk about all these things and preferably before you begin a sexual relationship with someone. (Assuming that the two people haven’t agreed to a completely no strings sexual encounter, which is a whole other story, that also requires complete honesty and knowing of self)

Hold your relationships up to these truths of love, as well as the four fold expression of love and see how they fit. Where have they fallen short. These places are the places to look to heal within. There is no point to blaming the other person you had a relationship with, even for things that may have been their fault. It is your own unhealed issues that brought that person to you. There are no victims. If you want a monogamous relationship and you brought someone to you who was not monogamous, it is because, despite your desire for monogamy, you do not feel worthy of one person’s dedication. So you look within to find out why you don’t feel worthy of another person’s dedication. Is it a parental issue, a past life? Something you did to someone else previously in this life that left you feeling guilty? You have to keep exploring the possibilities until you find the demons. It very well be all of the above! It can take time and conscious effort and there may be multiple issues surrounding unhealed relationship patterns. It can be done, but you have to really want to do it!

Certain manifestations of inner darkness, prevent this true love entering our lives. This does not mean that people truly in love do not have any inner darkness, simply that the inner darkness they have manifests in different lessons than those that prevent this type of love experience, like control and manipulation. These two things prevent honesty, an absolute key to the development of true love. I have worked long and hard on myself with these issues, my whole family has. It is hard, painful and lonely in a very desperate and longing way, but it does heal as the issues are discovered in their totality within and the core experiences are cleared allowing healing to unfold. An unhealed relationship is just two people being lonely together!

Sexual predation is not an expression of love, it is unto itself. We have a responsibility to elevate our sexuality and sexual expression to a higher vibration as we move toward enlightenment. An old Tibetan teaching given to the monasteries by the Dharljas is; Before entering a sexual partnership the couple should each seek within to see who the two people in each of their lives are that would be most affected by the choice. If any of these four people would be deeply harmed then the couple should not commence with the sexual relationship. This teaching deals with strictly the physical aspect of sexuality not taking into consideration the other aspects of a healed relationship, but is good teaching non-the less. It shows us that our choices for self have consequences beyond self and begins to teach us more on self-responsibility. Hormones are hormones, we all have them and with long periods of celibacy that many on a spiritual path sometimes have they can get very intense, but to allow them to make the choice for the Divine Spirit instead of the other way around is absurd. The absurdity of that choice is manifest all around in our current society of imbalance and loss of the sacred.